Remembering Cheryl Hayek
Cheryl Hayek and Carolyn Hayek in Federal Way, WA
Remembering Cheryl Hayek
March 9, 1944 - February 5, 2024
My cousin Cheryl Hayek requested that no funeral or memorial service be held following her death. She requested cremation and placement in a Catholic cemetery just outside of Portland, OR. The friends she designated as the ones to make the arrangements, planned a simple remembrance event at the cemetery. About 12 of us gathered to hear a priest give a short blessing, watch the cemetery employees bury the urn of remains, and then share stories of fun times each of us had had with Cheryl over the years. One friend had initially been a co-worker but that relationship turned into a 40-year friendship. Her hairdresser, who was also present, had done her hair for thirty years. I had known Cheryl my whole life, since her father was my father’s brother. At the cemetery, I was the only relative. The 40-year friend and I were the only ones present of our generation (other than the priest). It was impressive to see how many younger friends Cheryl had made and to hear how much she meant to them.
Many photos and mementos were on display in the cemetery chapel. Cheryl’s personality came through as we shared our experiences with her. My family contains a lot of unique individuals and Cheryl was certainly one of them. She loved the color red, had a huge collection of stuffed animals, mostly bears, and had many unique expressions used to describe events and people. She loved to socialize, travel, go shopping, hunt bargains and give gifts to others. Her Catholic faith was an important part of her life. Cheryl had loyal friends who became her “chosen” family and helped her navigate the last few years of her life when she had to vacate the apartment she’d resided in for 40 years and adjust to life in a care facility. Those friends are now wrapping up the last details of settling her estate.
Over the years, when I would visit Cheryl in Portland or she would visit me in Washington, we talked about end-of-life issues. She always told me she had everything taken care of. She seemed to want me to know that she would not need my assistance with her plans, but told me little of the details. I was very grateful that her friends took such good care of her and also stayed in touch with me to let me know what was happening. As far as I know, my brother and I (plus our kids and grandkids) are her closest surviving relatives. My brother was able to be with her at the actual time of her death and I represented the family at the remembrance event.
Cheryl almost made it to her 80th birthday, by far outliving her parents, Vera and Herbert Hayek, who lived 59 and 52 years, respectively. Rest in peace, cousin Cheryl!
I have written some other blog posts about my family. You can use these links to find them:
Family Secrets - Family Wisdom
I am from Sandcastles and Horses
Carolyn Hayek